How to Prep Your Guest List for Formal Wedding Invitations (Without Losing Your Mind)
You know what no one tells you about wedding invitations? The very first step isn’t choosing paper or fonts; it’s your guest list. Once you set a date, this is one of the very first things you’ll do, because everything else hinges on it.
When your guest list is done right the first time, it becomes the foundation for your entire stationery journey: save-the-dates, formal invitations, thank-you notes, and even future holiday cards. If it’s formatted properly now, every piece that follows will be smoother, easier, and stress-free.
But here’s the part that trips couples up: it’s not just what you include, but how you format and address your list. From proper honorifics to tricky last names that end in “s,” etiquette matters — and it can feel confusing fast.
That’s why I’ve created this guide (and a free template!) to help you format your list correctly and follow etiquette rules with confidence. So, let’s sit down together and get this list working for you.
Why Formatting Matters
When your guest list is formatted correctly, here’s what happens:
Everything is consistent (which makes your invitations feel polished and formal).
Your stationer (that’s me) and/or calligrapher can work efficiently. No retyping, no guessing.
You’ll save time, stress, and even money by avoiding costly reprints.
Most importantly? Your guests feel cared for the second they see their names beautifully written out.
What to Include in Your Guest List Spreadsheet
Here’s what every line should have:
Full Names → spell out first and last names. “Nicholas,” not “Nick.”
Titles → Mr., Mrs., Miss, Ms., Dr. (use formal versions, not nicknames).
Children’s Names → list them on the same line if they’re invited.
Addresses → spell out everything. 123 Main Street, Apartment 4, Minneapolis, Minnesota 55401. (No abbreviations like “St.” or “MN.”)
One household per line → if you’re inviting a couple, list them together.
Pro Tip: If you’re giving a guest a plus-one, write it as “Ms. Sarah Thompson and Mr. Josh Sherman” or if you don’t know the guest’s name, write it as “Ms. Sarah Thompson and Guest”
Etiquette Tips
Honorifics and Titles
Always use full titles: Mr., Mrs., Ms., Dr., etc.
For clergy, judges, or military officers, include their proper title (The Honorable, Reverend, Captain, etc.).
Married Couples
Traditionally, the husband’s name is listed first (Mr. and Mrs. John Smith).
Modern option: use both first names (Mr. John Smith and Mrs. Mary Smith).
Unmarried Couples Living Together
List names alphabetically by last name: Ms. Anna James and Mr. David Lee.
Families with Children
Children under 18 are listed under the parents’ names on the inner envelope only (Mr. and Mrs. Jameson / Charlotte and George).
Children over 18 should receive their own invitation.
Plus Ones
If someone has a guest, write “and Guest” (formal) or “Sarah Thompson and Guest” on the outer envelope.
If the name of the guest is known, always include it.
Widows and Divorced Women
Widows may be addressed as Mrs. John Smith or Mrs. Mary Smith (both are correct, depending on preference).
Divorced women are generally addressed as Ms. Mary Smith.
Professional Titles
When one partner has a professional title (Doctor, Judge, Military rank), list them first, regardless of gender: Dr. Mary Smith and Mr. John Smith.
Family Names: Plural vs. Possessive
Invitations should use the plural form of a family’s name, not the possessive.
Correct: The Gilbertsons (plural, for the whole family).
Incorrect: The Gilbertson’s (possessive, which implies ownership).
If the last name ends in “s” (like Harris, Jones, or Thomas):
Add -es: The Harrises, The Joneses, The Thomases.
For names ending in -z, also add -es: The Martinezes.
If it feels awkward, use “The Harris Family” — still formal, still correct, and often the cleanest solution.
Common Mistakes (a quick checklist)
Using abbreviations for streets, states, or titles.
Mixing casual and formal names (Nick vs. Nicholas).
Leaving out apartment numbers or zip codes.
Skipping spell-check. Because yes, your cousin will notice if you misspell her fiancé’s last name.
Make It Easy on Yourself
It’s not glamorous, but getting your guest list in order is one of the most important steps you’ll take for your wedding invitations. And once it’s done, everything else — from addressing envelopes to place cards at your reception — becomes easier and more joyful.
Use the free template to keep your list organized, and lean on these etiquette tips whenever you feel unsure. With everything spelled out clearly, you’ll never have to second-guess if you’re doing it “right.”
Because the most meaningful celebrations begin with thoughtful details, and your guest list is the very first one.
[Download Your Guest List Template Here]
Warmly,
Terri